that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
