I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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