happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
