Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
