I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
