I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
