I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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