Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize