I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm jealous of your bromance
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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