You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
