Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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