I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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