Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
