he thought i was a dude.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
