it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize