you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
