i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
