I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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