Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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