nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
