Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
