Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
whose parrot is this?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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