Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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