He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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