You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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