there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
