Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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