Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dear god my vagina.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
