...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
