This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Im part way to drunk.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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