the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
