i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
