And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
