So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
