took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
