We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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