Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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