Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
