It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
