my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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