i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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