I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
