And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
