I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
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