can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
