Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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