loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
