Dual....:-)
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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