just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
