shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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