his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
