and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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