I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
