i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
