Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
