I want to walk on stilts...naked
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize