So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
