areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
