dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
