I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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