My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
What a dumb baby whore.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
