id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
