Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
