Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
