You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i think i have two assholes
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
is wine microwaveable?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
