Fuck appropriateness.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
